in solidarity with chika's pro-woman endorsement post (or was it a war post??), this is the sequel to my post from a few months ago...
thank God i'm a woman...
If you have to be home in time for Desperate Housewives, you can say so, out loud
It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower
No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo
If you forget to shave, no one has to know
If you're dumb, some people will find it cute
You can sleep your way to the top
You can sue the President for sexual harassment
If you marry someone twenty years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot
You can quickly end any fight by crying
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems
You'll never regret piercing your ears
You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes
You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
in solidarity with chika's pro-woman endorsement post (or was it a war post??), this is the sequel to my post from a few months ago...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
It's been 8 days, 8 freaking days and i have done all the research i can do but i'm too scared to fuck around with it myself.
I know for a fact that my iPhone has the new unlockable software firmware, but allot of people have unlocked it, and i found some sites that guide me through it, but how trustable are they, i mean i spend 185 KD for this and if i manage to ruin it, i will have no one to blame but myself.
I need help, please help, i want a working iphone, i'm in agony.
Posted by Zed at 11:30 PM
After i read that Fony from Fonzation received a gift from Dunkin Donuts for just mentioning them on his blog, i came up with this great idea, every week or so i will post my 100% honest opinion of a random place in Kuwait, whether its a good or bad review, it'll be done without any ass kissing for obvious reasons.
I am not a freeloader and don't like gifts, therefore every gift i receive will be randomly distributed to one of iKuwats readers.
Posted by Zed at 3:00 PM
To the left or to the right?
Can't make up your mind?
Look carefully at the picture again.
Still don't know?
Pre-schoolers all over the United States
were shown this picture asked the same question.
90% of the pre-schooler's gave this answer:
'The bus is traveling to the left.'
When asked, 'Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?'
'Because you can't see the door to get on the bus.'
Posted by Joud at 8:54 AM
Monday, October 29, 2007
Since my last posts was about the afterlife (hell in specific), and since Chika loves this subject, enjoy this joke....
A Man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, 'What do they do here?' He is told: 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.'
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the American hell, as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Kuwaiti hell and finds that there is a long line of people from all nationalities waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, 'What do they do here?' He is told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Kuwaiti devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.
'But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?'
He is told, 'maintenance is so back there is no electricity, Bengali's keep stealing the nails from the beds and the Devil is a lazy government employee, he checks in has his tea and falafel sandwich and leaves'
Posted by Zed at 2:00 PM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
ok guys, people around me won't get off my case about not being on facebook. so i decided to be reasonable and at least give it a thought.
i'm still very much leaning towards NO, but i thought i'd get your valuable opinions before i make my decision once and for all.
- should i sell my soul to facebook ? if so, why ?
- or should i stay away from facebook ? if so, why ?
your help is much appreciated !
Posted by Joud at 3:34 PM
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The following is an actual question given on University of Washington Chemistry Mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ...... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Posted by Zed at 2:56 PM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
this post has nothing to do with the very talented blogger Eshda3wa, it's just sort of an ode to some oddities in Kuwait
driving on the emergency lane like your time is more precious than everyone else's, eshda3wa
staying on a cardio / weight machine in the gym just to chat on your cell, eshda3wa
clipping your nails in public, eshda3wa
accelerating like crazy on the road just to keep me from switching to your lane, eshda3wa
honking like your life depended on it the second the traffic light turns green, eshda3wa
not answering me at the airport passport control when i say hello (essalam) - especially the women, eshda3wa
taking tailgating to a new level, eshda3wa
going reverse on the highway to take the exit u missed, eshda3wa
opening your car door and gracing the ground with a heavy, goowy, loud spit, eshda3wa
adjusting your 'package' in broad daylight in front of everyone, eshda3wa
more eshda3was ? please share
Posted by Joud at 8:28 AM
Monday, October 22, 2007
It's been a month and three weeks since i started TNG, i must admit it was a very time consuming game for me, and ramadan needed that push, now that its over it's time to come up with something else to entertain us while we waste are paid for hours blogging and chatting.
I would like to congratulate MOMO for his unchallenged 10/10 score, although i still think it was an inside job (waldo, joud?). and also i would like to thank everyone else for participating.
blue dress 5
ms loala 5
momo e-mail me for prize details
Posted by Zed at 8:30 AM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship Between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Posted by Zed at 10:30 AM
Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
blue dress 4 (long shot)
dishevelled 3 (pray and believe)
touche 3 (keep the faith)
kj 2 (even god can't get out to win this)
sailor 2 (i didn't even notice you were part of the game)
Posted by Zed at 9:00 AM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Project Master plan received by Pickard Chilton
Kingdom Holding Company, Chaired by HRH Prince Alwaleed bin Talal bin Abdulaziz Alsaud, announced today Monday 17th September 2007, that Bechtel (BEKtl) company was chosen t supervise and develop the real estate project in Jeddah. Bechtel company was chosen out of seven other companies that were in a competitive bid to supervise and develop the Jeddah project.
Bechtel is a global engineering, construction and project management company with more than a century of experience on complex projects in challenging locations especially in Saudi. Privately owned with headquarters in San Francisco, they have 40 offices around the world and nearly 40,000 employees.
Kingdom Holding Company received the Jeddah Project Master plan from Pickard Chilton, reputable and renowned designers who have designed some of the world's significant and recognizable buildings, including Kingdom Center recognized by its iconic tower.
The Jeddah project, one of the major real estate projects planned by Kingdom Holding Company, and other projects in Riyadh, has an area of 5.3 million square meters and is located in the city's northern area on the Red Se coastline, which is a strategic area for the development of this project. The investment value of the project is estimated at SR50 billion upon completion, comprising of a colossal skyscraper with a surrounding area for other facilities (residential, commercial, construction of a five star hotel and offices). The residential area will be 1.5 million square meters, the size of the commercial area will be 470,000 square meters, education vicinity with an area of 150,000 square meters and the size of the offices area will be 800,000 square meters. The remaining lands will be utilized for leisure facilities, tourism and the construction of four star hotels.
Furthermore, there are plans for the development of a diplomatic quarter on the Jeddah land. Th site plans for the land were developed by HOK, a Canadian company that has world wide recognition. The project will also connect the Red Sea coastline of the area to Sharm Obhur, an environment of natural beauty. KHC is also currently in cooperation with the Jeddah municipality and other administrations to ensure that all the appropriate requirements are met for the success of the project. KHC is known for the high quality of their real estate projects that have won international awards.
Posted by Zed at 12:30 PM
Monday, October 15, 2007
.....ON AN AIRPLANE
If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you follow these instructions:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes, tilt your head up to the sky & move your lips as if praying
6. Then hit this link
Posted by Zed at 10:20 AM
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
finally there will be a place in kuwait where u can go have a bagel for breakfast. it's about time !
Prime & Toast is opening very soon (next to burger hub); it's going to be a franco-american bistro which will also have all sorts of breakfast foods.
right now i can picture myself having an extra toasted sesame bagel with rich cream cheese, next to a steaming cup of coffee......
Posted by Joud at 11:53 AM
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
TNG (7) had some misunderstanding, most of the people thought they had the right answers, but didn't exactly have the correct description, except momo who precisely indicated the exact location of that 7th TNG.
Due to this elijah's comment (strike on TNG), i decided to be democratic and let the people vote it out, better yet, i'm going to let momo do the final decision:
momo, do you want to:
- consider everyone a winner for TNG (7) ?
- re do TNG (7) ?
- take the point and screw everyone ?
this is going to be fun to watch
Posted by Zed at 2:45 PM
my ramadan working days started at 9:30 up until the 3ashr il awakhir (last 10 days of ramadan), where they have been pushed a half an hour, to 10am.
when it was 9:30 it was quasi impossible to make it on time and i was always getting in between 9:45 and 10 - blame it on traffic, the snooze button, the what-to-wear block, whatever.
now that i don't have to be at work til 10, u'd think i could be on time, right ? wrong ! i cant seem to be here before 10:20 :s
why is it that i always manage to be late, no matter what time i have to start? i guess it's not really because of external factors now is it.
Posted by Joud at 2:01 PM
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
A survey was taken around the world and the results were determined by:
1) Quality of women,
2) Amount of Women per men ratio
3) Ease of talking to women.
10. Amsterdam, Holland
09. Tel Aviv, Israel
08. Montreal, Canada
07. Caracas, Venezuela
06. Moscow , Russia
05. Los Angeles, California
04. Varna, Bulgaria
03. Buenos Aires, Argentina
02. Copenhagen, Denmark
01. Stockholm, Sweden
I agree with some, but still believe that Montreal should be #1 AND Brazil and Lebanon need to be somewhere on that list.
Monday, October 1, 2007
3 men die and go to heaven. the heaven guard starts to examine how faithful they have been to their wives during their lifetimes.
he starts with the oldest one, charly: "u cheated on your wife 50 times, so i'll give you a Fiat for your transportation needs in heaven." Charly drives off, he sure got off easy !!
it's Johnny's turn. he 'only' cheated on his wife 15 times, so he gets a Ford Focus; he's a happy camper.
the youngest of all 3, Timmy, who's never cheated on his wife, finds himself with a brand new Ferrari. he is beyond happy.
some time goes by, the 3 friends haven't seen each other in over a week; then 1 day, charly drops by with his fiat and is surprised to see timmy in tears, and so he says: "what's the matter with you, you're driving around in a Ferrari, you've never cheated on your wife, you should be ecstatic !!"
Timmy looks up and says: "i just saw my wife, she's on roller blades !!"
Posted by Joud at 11:40 AM