What do you do?

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.

On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

See Below

Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round.

Cheers

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The man replied, " I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then handing it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."

Pimpin' it

After reading Marzouq's post on his latest upgrade to his sound system in his car, i decided its time to Pimp My Ride, and i don't mean sound system o bass, i mean the whole works, the paint job, detailing, skirts, hydraulics system, spinners...ok maybe not spinners but nice rims.

Where do i begin, does anyone know a place i can go to?

I want to start with the hydraulics, sound system, rims then the paint job.

Is there a place in Kuwait that would take care of my pimpin' needs? perhaps a Kuwaiti version of West Coast Customs

Pluck you !

what do u guys think - true or false ?

Ring the alarm

According to the Ministry of Defense, the Civil Defense Sirens will go off tomorrow (Monday) morning at 10:00 am, just felt the need to tell everyone so no one ends up shitting bricks and hiding under their beds or desks.

The sirens will go off in three different tones:

- the fast pace drill, which means danger is on its way

- the slow siren which means danger is here

- and the constant steady horn which means everything is in the clear.

It's the truth!!

Thank God I'm a Woman - part II

in solidarity with chika's pro-woman endorsement post (or was it a war post??), this is the sequel to my post from a few months ago...

thank God i'm a woman...

If you have to be home in time for Desperate Housewives, you can say so, out loud

It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower

No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo

If you forget to shave, no one has to know

If you're dumb, some people will find it cute

You can sleep your way to the top

You can sue the President for sexual harassment

If you marry someone twenty years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot

You can quickly end any fight by crying

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems

You'll never regret piercing your ears

You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes

You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark

Free drinks

Free dinners

Free movies

iPhone Unlock

It's been 8 days, 8 freaking days and i have done all the research i can do but i'm too scared to fuck around with it myself.

I know for a fact that my iPhone has the new unlockable software firmware, but allot of people have unlocked it, and i found some sites that guide me through it, but how trustable are they, i mean i spend 185 KD for this and if i manage to ruin it, i will have no one to blame but myself.

I need help, please help, i want a working iphone, i'm in agony.

Freebies for everyone

After i read that Fony from Fonzation received a gift from Dunkin Donuts for just mentioning them on his blog, i came up with this great idea, every week or so i will post my 100% honest opinion of a random place in Kuwait, whether its a good or bad review, it'll be done without any ass kissing for obvious reasons.

I am not a freeloader and don't like gifts, therefore every gift i receive will be randomly distributed to one of iKuwats readers.

So you think you're smart

Which way is the bus below traveling?

To the left or to the right?

Can't make up your mind?

Look carefully at the picture again.

Still don't know?

Pre-schoolers all over the United States

were shown this picture asked the same question.

90% of the pre-schooler's gave this answer:
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'The bus is traveling to the left.'

When asked, 'Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?'

They answered:
'Because you can't see the door to get on the bus.'

Kuwaiti Hell

Since my last posts was about the afterlife (hell in specific), and since Chika loves this subject, enjoy this joke....


A Man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, 'What do they do here?' He is told: 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.'

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the American hell, as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Kuwaiti hell and finds that there is a long line of people from all nationalities waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, 'What do they do here?' He is told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Kuwaiti devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.


'But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?'


He is told, 'maintenance is so back there is no electricity, Bengali's keep stealing the nails from the beds and the Devil is a lazy government employee, he checks in has his tea and falafel sandwich and leaves'

Facebook dilemma

ok guys, people around me won't get off my case about not being on facebook. so i decided to be reasonable and at least give it a thought.

i'm still very much leaning towards NO, but i thought i'd get your valuable opinions before i make my decision once and for all.

so:

- should i sell my soul to facebook ? if so, why ?

- or should i stay away from facebook ? if so, why ?

your help is much appreciated !

Hella Good

The following is an actual question given on University of Washington Chemistry Mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ...... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

bo napooli

now all my friends are talking like him... help

Eshda3wa

this post has nothing to do with the very talented blogger Eshda3wa, it's just sort of an ode to some oddities in Kuwait

eshda3wa....

driving on the emergency lane like your time is more precious than everyone else's, eshda3wa

staying on a cardio / weight machine in the gym just to chat on your cell, eshda3wa

clipping your nails in public, eshda3wa

accelerating like crazy on the road just to keep me from switching to your lane, eshda3wa

honking like your life depended on it the second the traffic light turns green, eshda3wa

not answering me at the airport passport control when i say hello (essalam) - especially the women, eshda3wa

taking tailgating to a new level, eshda3wa

going reverse on the highway to take the exit u missed, eshda3wa

opening your car door and gracing the ground with a heavy, goowy, loud spit, eshda3wa

adjusting your 'package' in broad daylight in front of everyone, eshda3wa

more eshda3was ? please share

Zeitgeist

Click on the globe to stream the Zeitgeist movie

TNG Results

It's been a month and three weeks since i started TNG, i must admit it was a very time consuming game for me, and ramadan needed that push, now that its over it's time to come up with something else to entertain us while we waste are paid for hours blogging and chatting.



I would like to congratulate MOMO for his unchallenged 10/10 score, although i still think it was an inside job (waldo, joud?). and also i would like to thank everyone else for participating.


Final ranking:



momo 10
chikapappi 7
hammoodee 7
blue dress 5
elijah 5
kinano 5
ms loala 5
touche 4
dishevelled 3
kj 2
sailor 2

momo e-mail me for prize details

Why Men Have Better Friends

Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Burj Dubai at it's best (exclusive)

Here are a couple of pics of Dubai from the 134th floor of Burj Dubai.

I just developed fear of heights

TNG (10)

SCORE
momo 9 (no mercy)
chikapappi 7 (you can do it)
hammoodee 6 (i see a comeback)

elijah 5 (possible)

ms loala 5 (also possible)
blue dress 4 (long shot)

kinano 4 (longer shot)
dishevelled 3 (pray and believe)
touche 3 (keep the faith)
kj 2 (even god can't get out to win this)
sailor 2 (i didn't even notice you were part of the game)