Sunday, April 1, 2007

TGIM

Thank God I'm a Man

- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be President.
- You can never be pregnant.
- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
- You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- The world is your urinal.
- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- Same work, more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
- New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
- One mood all the time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You know stuff about tanks.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You only have to shave your face and neck.
- You can play with toys all your life.
- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

THANK GOD I'M A MAN

13 comments:

Happy Wolf said...

Thats PFG man !

Zed said...

PFG????

KJ said...

I second that, although in my parents' case, my dad takes 3 suitcases and mom takes a handbag.

The Criticizer said...

Hell yeah, TGIM!!111one...

eshda3wa said...

loooooooool

nice :)

Elijah said...

LOL Just flip it around and it works for women haha.

Kinan said...

Brilliant!

We rock :D

Witty said...

Is this your April's Fool joke? :P 'cause I can pinpoint a lotta flaws in it hehe

Ms Loala said...

*One mood all the time*
^ so not true ..
Thank god i'm a woman :p

Zed said...

i'm lovin' the responses... funny how all the woman object somehow...

TGIM...i don't need to worry about this list hehe

Elagante said...

I wana be a man :( but a sexy un hairy one

jumping translocation said...

Thank heavens for little mercies! For making us men among the boys
We get to wear the pants in the house even the linen ones might I add. :)
JT
hablaconel.blogspot.com

TGIM said...

Thank God! As men it's our prerogative to pee standing up.