Saturday, October 27, 2007

Hella Good

The following is an actual question given on University of Washington Chemistry Mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ...... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

16 comments:

chikapappi said...

:/ I don't like discussing hell..

Zed said...

chika: why not, you should face your fears, if hell is one of them, and to make you feel better, hell doesn't exist

hammoodee said...

Tricky - Hell Is Around The Corner.mp3

elijah said...

hehe brilliant

lol @ zed, you removed all chikas fears :D

Kinano said...

looooool I like this guy's thought process :P

Zed I completely agree. Hell does not exist so Chicka there's no need for you to be afraid.

Zed said...

hammoodee: THERE IS NO HELL, NO HELL I TELLS YA

elijah: i can remove your fears too ;)

kinano: but you know that if hell doesn't exist then heaven doesnt exist either!!
watch the Zeitgiest, i think you'll like it (i posted it 3-4 days ago)

Noufa said...

I can't wait to get into hell, I bet I'll meet the greatest people in history :D

Zed said...

noufa: and they probably have grilled steaks everywhere

Joud said...

noufa: very true :) the ppl in heaven are probably boring anyway

Kinano said...

Zed:

Heaven (if it existed which I seriously doubt) would be excruciatingly dull!

I read a review about it a couple of months back. It sounds pretty interesting. Sadly, access to youTube is blocked where I work :S

elijah said...

zed: are you flirting with me?! :P

You're a bit too late hun, mine are gone.

Zed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zed said...

Kinano: lol, i am sure it would be dull, imagine everything and anything you could ever want is there.
where is the excitment and challenge to get things???

i want hell, at least i wil burn with michael jackson .. heeeee heeeee AWWWWWWW

elijah: flirting??? no, its helping, assisting, aiding.

for only 19.99$ i guarantee all fears removed, you just have to buy the tape, the t-shirt, the lean mean grill machine, the ab-tromicizer and the juicer.

and you will reviece a free "get rid of your fears" dvd

elijah said...

I want the knife as well :D

Kinano said...

Zed:

MICHAEL JACKSON?!?!?!

You perv :P

Zed said...

kinan: i know you are one of those guys that talk trash about mj but go home blast that shit and try to pull the moon walk singing Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa

we all love mj, with or without his faults, but some of us are still in denial