Sunday, March 16, 2008

Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Dear Ted,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Susie Fox


Dear Susie,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber .

I hope this helps.
Ted

6 comments:

Hamitaf La B said...

I like this Ted guy... !!!

Zed said...

i love his attitude

Ahmad said...

I read this joke before, but it's still hilarious!

TAT said...

well he did help her

Mrm said...

hahahahaha! niiice

arrested development said...

It's a guy thing, I suppose. Ted's a bad case of SAS ( Short Attention Span ) syndrome. No wonder he couldn't stay focussed on the minor issue of the husband making out with the neighbor's missus.
I blame it on Suzie - she ought to have highlighted it in bold