Bitch Slapped

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines.One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long,and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

Distant Heat

Hell broke loose

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to talk to you. We have some Lebanese up here in heaven that are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabanas instead of their white robes, they're riding BMW's instead of the chariots, and they're selling their halos to people for discount prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep crouching down midway eating sunflower and watermelon seeds and smoking argili. Some of them are walking around with just one wing!"

The Lord said, "Lebanese are Lebanese. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the devil."

The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute." The Devil returned to the phone, "OK I'm back. What can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied, "I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're having down there."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?" Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said, "Man I don't believe this.......Hold on."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those damn Lebanese have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning!!!

Karma is a b*tch

i've always believed in karma, and after that little incident last week i do even more. i was with a friend of mine in one of the warmer countries of europe, and seeing some pigeons frolicking around out the window i asked her if she'd ever been "hit" by a pigeon before. "yes, many times! " she said, at which point i laughed and made fun of her.

my karma must've taken notice of my mild cruelty towards my friend because the very next day, surely enough, an evil pigeon got me right on the head, tank top, skirt - in one hit. needless to say my friend had a field day with the situation. luckily we were a couple of meters away from the hotel, but i still can't describe how GROSS it was. EEEWWWW

3 things

my 3 favorite boutiques in kuwait:

- brown, in tala center
- closet candy, in salhia area
- mosaic, in salhia complex

Voyage into Rum

Click on the pic to go to the official Distant Heat website.

Event: Distant Heat 2007

Date: 26th July 2007

Location: Wadi Rum, Jordan

Type of event: Rave

I have been to 2 Distant Heats:

- July 2004 - Ferry Corston

- July 2005 - Armin Van Buurin

and they were the best 2 raves I've experienced in the middle-east so far, the great thing about the Distant Heat rave is the set up, its in the middle of the desert in a valley, and the people that organize this event are the best out there, and the after party in Aqaba only 50Km away is just astonishing, right after the rave finishes at 7-8am after over 12 hours of partying non-stop everyone meets in Aqaba at the after party on the beach, chill out music with some bounce, just enough to keep you awake and bopping your heads while tanning under the sun.

high......higher.......highest.........

Don't miss it, I know I won't.

(If anyone needs tickets, I can help you get them in Kuwait)

Wait for the movie ending !

i was at the movies a couple of days ago, and as usual, some people started to leave right before the end of the movie - to "beat the traffic" of people who will leave once the movie completely ends.

i understand they don't want to get stuck in a queue of people all headed towards the exit, but aren't they a bit curious about the ending of the movie they just spent 2 hours watching ??

Digital Kuwait

finally, the baladiya (municipality) has developed a web-based interactive map of kuwait. u can zoom into it down to a block level, or use the search function in the menu and type in what you're looking for, in arabic or english; very handy.

you can even take a look at some statistics, like population and age group distribution.

i like.

Cost of eating per week!

Japan : The Ukita family of Kodaira City
Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or $317.25

Italy : The Manzo family of Sicily
Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11

Chad: The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp
Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or $1.23

Kuwait: The Al Haggan family of Kuwait City
Food expenditure for one week: 63.63 dinar or $221.45

United States: The Revis family of North Carolina
Food expenditure for one week: $341.98

Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca
Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09

China: The Dong family of Beijing
Food expenditure for one week: 1,233.76 Yuan or $155.06

Poland: The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna
Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27

Egypt: The Ahmed family of Cairo
Food expenditure for one week: 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53

Ecuador: The Ayme family of Tingo
Food expenditure for one week: $31.55

United States : The Caven family of California
Food expenditure for one week: $159.18

Mongolia : The Batsuuri family of Ulaanbaatar
Food expenditure for one week: 41,985.85 togrogs or $40.02

Great Britain: The Bainton family of Cllingbourne Ducis
Food expenditure for one week: 155.54 British Pounds or $253.15

Bhutan: The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village
Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03

Germany: The Melander family of Bargteheide
Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07

iPhone's worst 5

according to c-net tv, here are the 5 worst things about the iphone:

5- no 3G
4- unimpressive capacity; comes in 4 or 8GB
3- 2-year contract minimum without discount (in u.s.)
2- battery non-removable and doesn't last that long
1- price: 500$ for 4GB and 600$ for 8GB

to me the most surprising is that it doesn't have 3G

watch the video here

Loch Ness

Remember the crap we used to hear about when we were kids about the Loch Ness Monster, well it's back, I heard on the radio on my way to work that more people claim they saw it.

Whats the deal with this thing, when are they going to catch it and grill it for lunch with a side order of some asparagus & mashed potatoes?

Colorful mess

somewhere in europe i came accross this traffic light clutter which caught my attention. and confused the heck out of me.

all i could think of was what would happen if we put this thing on one of shuwaikh or kuwait city's intersections ?

Travel Alert

Dubai Airport launches new security rules, effective immediately.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Effective immediately, ALL travelers on ALL airlines departing from Dubai International Airport must follow the below requirements when carrying liquids on board.

1. All liquids must be placed in 100 ml containers (no more)
2. Each container should be placed into a clear, re-sealable plastic bag with a maximum capacity of 1 liter.
3. Each traveler can only carry 1 (one) plastic bag
4. The bag should be presented separately at the check-in screening point for x-ray.

EXEMPTIONS:
Medicines and dietary requirements (including baby food), required during the flight, may be carried IN ADDITION to the above. When requested, travelers will have to provide proof of authenticity for the medicines.

ALLOWED ITEMS:
- Medicines: essential prescribed medication, essential non-prescribed medication, (eg. cough syrup) 100ml, Insulin, Medical Services
- Baby products: empty containers (bottles, beakers or flasks), baby milk, sterilized baby water, baby juice, baby products (in liquid, gel or paste form), baby food powder
- Empty containers such as flasks or mugs
- Sanitary towels, tampons, Talcum powder, contact lenses and contact lens solution (100ml)
- Sandwiches, fruit, vegetables, other solid foods

ITEMS OVER 100ML NOT ALLOWED:
- Drinks: Any drinks in cans, bottles, plastic containers, etc
- Liquid Cosmetics and Toiletries: ALL cosmetics and toiletries in liquid/gel form, for example: fragrance and perfume, creams, liquid foundations and lip gloss, Mascara, toothpaste, all products in pressurized containers such as hairspray, deodorants.
- Any Liquid-based food products in packets, tubes, containers, for example: Jam and syrups, sauces, pastes, yoghurt's, soups, stews or curry.

While i was away ...

- the temperatures in kuwait have hit 50

- blackberry in kuwait

- carrefour now open

- not 1 but 2 private planes in nbk yabeela campaign

- i can swear that traffic has gotten worse

- and ... nothing to do with kuwait but worth mentioning: 350000 usd paid by some woman to kiss clooney. by her boyfriend ! this kind of men is hard to find

Traffic rules of Kuwait

1. Right of way
Right of way belongs to the vehicle which has it’s bumper 5cm ahead of another, irrespective of whether approaching from the left or right.

2. The Kuwait scissors
When in 3 lanes of traffic, all traffic wishing to turn right should occupy the left hand lane and vice versa. One must then wait until the last possible moment before crossing the other two lanes at right angles to the traffic flow, to do so too early is to lose face.

3. Overtaking
There are four ways to get past the car in front; to the left, to the right, over the top and underneath, also known as undertaking.

4. The weave
Never hold a steady speed in one lane. You can gain as much as 20 meters over a distance of 10 kilometers by continuously swerving from one lane to another whilst invoking rules 1 and 10. The minimum speed for this maneuver is 150kph.

5. Right of way (buses)
Buses do not have right of way; they just take it. Bus horns are frighteningly louder than any others. There are some official boarding and alighting points but the buses will drop off and/or pick up passengers at any place, any time, in traffic, provided that the passenger is sufficiently fleet of foot and oblivious to the threat of traffic flowing around him.

6. Pedestrians
These may cross the road when, where, and however they wish. Be they old, young, agile or decrepit, they have the right to step into the traffic and dodge, dance or merely stolidly move across. However, motorists are encouraged to do their best to hit them, preferably at speed. (Even on the pavement) Motorist should note that most motorway bridges are 1000m apart and that pedestrians will cross at 500m intervals.

7. Traffic lights
There are nine possible combinations of traffic lights in use in Kuwait, they being; red, amber, green, red plus amber, red plus green, green plus amber, red plus green plus amber, flashing amber, and all off. Any selection of these can be found on any one set of traffic lights. The meanings of the various arrangements are not known, but if crossing when the lights are red (or any other combination) and you see a car crossing in front of you, make sure you hit it squarely in the side, if possible, at speed.

8. U-turns
These are used for changing direction and carriageway. If possible try not to pull out if a car is going past in the outside lane of the carriageway you want to pull into. If you are in a hurry, the somersault and roll method is a quicker way of achieving the same result, but avoid the lamp posts in the central reservation.

9. Parking
a) Short term: If you need to, just double or treble park, after all the traffic CAN get around you.
b) Long term: Park alongside a yellow and black curb. If you are lucky the police will fit the car with an anti-theft device or tow it to a secure car park. There is however a standard charge for these services.

10. Mirrors
These are not, contrary to popular belief, for looking for vehicles behind you, but are for grooming, adjusting gutrah’s & seeing where the parsley is stuck to your teeth.

Confusion set in

I know it should be a no brainer, but I am confused.. This is my dilemma, do I go to:

(Both on the 5th of July)

PRANA PETRA FESTIVAL - Jordan, which means TIESTO

VS

LAURYN HILL Live in Concert - Dubai

Pros & Cons

I've seen both live before, TIESTO many many times... Lauryn Hill once with the Fugees.... TIESTO is in Petra, it's gonna be amazing.......Lauryn single without the Fugees.....Lauryn in Dubai, I got bored of Dubai and was there just 2 weeks ago...... HELLLLPPPPPPPP MMMEEEE

Calculator Words

I was surprised to find out not allot of people could figure out # 5 in my last post. I guess I'm truly an 80's child, a calculator was one of our main sources of entertainment, we didn't have Nintendo's and Playstations back then, it was all about the Atari and Sakher hehe.

Calculatir words go as far as your imagination can go, just use the letters according to the Key below and type it backwards on your calculator, flip the calculator and Viola...


Key
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0
I Z E h S g L B _ O

BE GO HE HI IS LO SO BEE BEG BIB BIG BOB BOG BOO EBB EEL EGG EGO ELL GEE GEL GIB GIG GOB GOO HIS HOB HOE HOG ILL LEE LEG LIE LOB LOG LOO OIL SEE SHE SIS SOB SOL ZIG ZOO BEES BEGS BELL BIBS BILE BILL BIOS BLOB BOBS BOGS BOIL BOLE BOLL BOLO BOOB BOOS BOSS EBBS EELS EGGS EGOS ELSE GELS GIBE GIGS GILL GLEE GLIB GLOB GOBS GOES GOGO GOSH HEEL HELL HIGH HILL HISS HOBO HOES HOGS HOLE HOSE HOSS IBIS ILLS ISLE LEES LEGS LESS LIES LOBE LOBO LOGE LOGO LOGS LOLL LOSE LOSS OBOE OGLE OILS OOZE SEES SELLS HES SHOE SHOO SIGH SILL SILO SIZE SLOB SLOE SLOG SOBS SOIL SOLE SOLO ZIGS ZOOS BEIGE BELIE BELLE BELLS BEZEL BIBLE BILGE BILLS BLESS BLISS BLOBS BOILS BOLES BOOBS BOOZE GEESE GILLS GLEES GLOBE GLOSS GOOSE HEELS HEIGH HELLO HELLS HILLS HOLES HOSES IGLOO ISLES LIBEL LIEGE LISLE LOBES LOESS LOOSE LOSES OBESE OGLES OOZES SEIZE SELLS SHELL SHIES SHILL SHISH SHOES SIEGE SIGHS SILLS SIZES SLOGS SLOSH SOILS SOLES SOLOS BELIES BELLES BESSEL BIBLES BILGES BOBBIE BOBBLE BOGGLE BOGIES BOOGIE BOOZES BOSSES GIGGLE GLOBES GOBBLE GOGGLE HISSES HOBBLE HOLIES IGLOOS LESSEE LILIES LOOSES LOSSES OBLIGE OBSESS SEIZES SHELLS SHILOH SIEGES SIZZLE SLEIGH BELLIES BESIEGE BOBBLES BOGGLES ELEGIES GIGGLES GLOSSES GOBBLES GOGGLES HELLISH HOBBIES HOBBLES LEGIBLE LOBBIES OBLIGES SLEIGHS EGGSHELL ELIGIBLE and more like BOOB, BOOBIES, BOOBLESS, EGGLESS, EGGIES, LOO etc ...

You can get really creative with this stuff...

Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
8) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
9) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
10) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
11) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
12) The most embarrassing thing you can do as school-child is to call your teacher mum or dad.
13) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
14) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
15) You never ever run out of salt.
16) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
17) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
18) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
19) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
20) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
21) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
22) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
23) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
24) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
25) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
26) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
27) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
28) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I bet you didn't know....

Phonetic Alphabet

A = Alpha
B = Bravo
C = Charlie
D = Delta
E = Echo
F = Foxtrot
G = Golf
H = Hotel
I = India
J = Juliet
K = Kilo
L = Lima
M = Mike
N = November
O = Oscar
P = Papa
Q = Quebec
R = Romeo
S = Sierra
T = Tango
U = Uniform
V = Victor
W= Whiskey
X = X-ray
Y = Yankee
Z = Zulu

Technology at its best

A GPS site where you can type in a mobile phone number and it finds exactly where the location person is (assuming the mobile is switched on). Try it out - it's pretty accurate. Put in the mobile code in the first fields, and the number in the other field.

Click on the picture to proceed.

Cyclone

..and I'm not talking about the famous club (whore house) in Dubai....I'm referring to the actually Cyclone that hit Oman.

"Cyclone Gonu, with winds of 160 miles per hour and gusts of 195 miles per hour, is heading northwest through the Indian Ocean toward Oman's east coast. Authorities on Monday evacuated nearly 7,000 people from Masirah, a lowland island off the east coast of Oman, said General Malik bin Suleiman al-Muamri, head of the country's civil defense. "

What if something like this hits Kuwait, are we prepared?

Typically Homsi

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Homsi were doing construction work on a scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again!If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."The Homsi opened his lunch box and said, " Hommos again! If I get a hommos sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The Homsi opened his lunch, saw the hommos and jumped to his death aswell. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said,"If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."Everyone turned and stared at the Homsi's wife. She said:
“Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch".

Aerosmith Rocks

I was in Dubai for the weekend for the AEROSMITH Concert, which was very well organized and set up, unlike the Shakira Concert which was amazing but unorganized and chaotic.

I just have one thing to say, Aerosmith are one of the greatest bands that ever existed and never seize to impress me, I didn't expect for the concert to rock, but they had everyone rockin' it all night long.

Apparently they were in Dubai for week, and were chilling all over, in restaurants, bars, clubs, on the beach during their whole stay, it would've been nice to meet them, but whatever, I would rather "meet" Liv Tyler.