Last post of 2007

to close 2007 i leave u with a quote from one of my favorite writers....

"Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream."

Khalil Gibran

Ignorance is bliss

Excerpts from a dog's diary:
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches:

the dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....

so are u a dog person or a cat person ;)

Bestest day

according to a friend of mine, it's possible to pinpoint the best day of 2007 - i.e. the most memorable day to her (date / occasion)

can YOU remember which was the single best day of 2007 for you personally ??

8

Since many blogs will have cliché happy new year posts next week, I want to beat everyone to the punch and do it now ;)

I’m trying to rate 2007 and I think it was an ok year for me overall, with important events in my family, valuable new friendships, career upgrades, ...

Anyway, lets hope that 2008 will put the last 10 to shame . I have a really good feeling about it :D

Kel 3am w ento bkhair

destination unknown

i've been so busy lately that i couldn't post, and i won't be able to post till 2008, so i just wanted to wish you all a great holiday where ever you might be, i'll be also traveling, actually i'm on the plane right now, posting from my phone

i hope 2008 is better than 2007, and i'll tell you all about my trip once i'm back

Been an aweful good girl

stop what ? i leave it to your imagination....

merry christmas

I wanna be...

when kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up, the most common answers are:

pilot, astronaut, doctor, architect, vet, ballerina...

i remember these answers vividly from the kids in my class. of course, i had the most horrid answers of all: "i don't know" but that's beside the point.

how come no kids ever say they want to become consultants, teachers, engineers, project managers, programmers, housewives ?

which is what most of us turn out to be anyway...

what did u originally want to become when u grew up ?

..2a "shell" 3ardoo..

i hope someone other than elijah gets this

If only...

... each sunday afternoon could be like today...

FM

I was driving to my friend's place this afternoon and got so excited when this song I LOVE was played on VOA.

Why is it that it’s much more exciting to hear a song u like on the radio, than on your playlist at home ?

Must be the element of surprise…

of Eid and dananeer

the evolution of 3idiya versus age...

3eedkom imbarak

blondes

No comment!

This post could negatively affect you

i’m at work, everyone’s on vacation, it’s extremely slow, motivation is low, I had 3 coffees and am still sleepy, unable to get myself to focus on the extremely tedious task at hand

the last 30 min have felt like 3 hours . time is standing still

procrastination isn’t helping either . i think today is the day i die... of boredom and lack of energy and heaviness of eyelids....

did I manage to affect anyone with this post ? misery likes company

but dont say i didnt warn u

procrastination

Procrastination: things to do on a Sunday when you don't feel like working, and you're just sitting at your desk bored out of your head.

1. the internet, an endless means to entertainment if you want to be left alone (and your colleagues will assume you are working)

2. fantasize about a certain someone and what u wanna do to them (adriana lima, no wait, its annalynn mccord now, what the heck, both together)

3. sleep, if you have your own office, its simple, you lock the door and act like you are busy, if you are in a cubicle, slide in your chair and wear your sun glasses, try not to snore

4. play pranks on your colleagues, be creative, anything you come up with and will entertain you will do the job

5. facebook (i have this as a separate point from the internet cause its just another world)

6..........

i'm so bored i need someone to help me procrastinate

no more limp dick

- Men worldwide are taking penis pills and getting amazing results! Boost your relationships and stop being so shy.
- Women like big ones , Gain more length
- 67% of women said they were unhappy with their lover’s penis size
- Before him I was with a couple of larger men and I did find them more satisfying as I was able to orgasm with them
- Satisfy Any Woman , Want it longer
- Increased confidence when making love = better sex
- Gain more length , Rock her world
- no more limp dick, you'll be rock solid on virility pills
- never be nervous in bed again with a big strong dick
- With the help of our pills, you could become the man you have always wanted to be
- Grinning Ear to Ear , Ashamed of your size
- I gained 4 inches , Why settle for what you have .
- Make her grin , You Can Have A Big Dick
- Your love wand suddenly becomes longer and thicker and makes women tremble with passion
- You want yours bigger, all men do , As Seen on Television .
- I love him to death but our sex life sucked
- We are going to show you the ONLY way that will GUARANTEE you the extra inches

this is just a sample of the daily spam i get, and I HAVE HAD ENOUGH , NO I DON'T WANT A LARGER PENIS, I DO BELIEVE MY PENIS IS LARGE ENOUGH.

they say its not the size of the boat, its the motion in the ocean, how effective is his saying? ladies?

Job Vacancy in Baabda /Lebanon

Job position: Lebanese President

Contract Duration: 6 years (extended if required)

Responsibilities: Ruling a small crazy country

Benefits: Whatever you can get

Age: 5 - 105 years

Please send 2 copies of your CV to: Bashar@damascus.no and Condy@Everywhere.usa

For non discrimination, we accept Ladies...Candidates will be contacted soon.

"Note: No Need to be Maronite, neither Lebanese"

pay raise request

Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $mith

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the media is reporting that the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

General Manager

1

Today ikuwait turns 1. I honestly thought our newfound blog craze would be gone by now, but I was wrong (except for waldo).

It’s been fun and i would like to share a couple of stats with you, since it would be cool to compare them with the stats I will share with u a year from now ;)

- number of posts: 367
- number of hits: 24923
- post with the most comments: Perfection

all ikuwait readers, thank u for keeping us going.

Fuck UN

no, i'm not cussing the united nations, although i should be, i am referring to united networks ISP, why is it costumer service in Kuwait always lacks decency no matter were you go.

- forget the fact that i have a 512 connection but never get more than 22kb/s bandwidth

- forget the fact that its down 60% of the day, the peak times, my peak times, i cant be forced to use the net only at 2-6am, that's just not right

- forget the fact that they never gave me a wifi access point, or a modem

- forget the fact that whenever i needed technical support, they never pick up, and when they do, they try to brush me off and blame the modem or the router

- forget the fact that they deal with SHOWTIME and we all know how bad they suck ass

- forget the fact they they are the most expensive ISP in Kuwait

- forget the fact that the block everything, not just illegal sites, they block randomly

they also had the balls to tell me i can't cancel my subscription until the full year is over or i'd have to pay a penalty for cancellation, no i never read the fine print cause i believe major corporations like these assholes should do the most to maintain and please their costumers not drive us away and try to milk us for all we've got.

can i get an AMEN

UN FUCK YOU !

3 things

3 things i can't wait for to happen:

1. the next episode of entourage



2. going snowboarding (on a real mountain)



3. my first niece / nephew

for the sake of science....

1. Sex is a beauty treatment.
Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin low.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps,and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered.
The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away.
Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches.
A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

..woman volunteers wanted..

logical scientist

Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sit on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Stuart: - No way he's a stockbroker.

Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.

Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...

Dave: - excuse me, no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!

Dave: - Oh! What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home?

Dave: - Er mmm well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Dave: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house, built it myself,

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually Active with your wife on a regular basis?

Dave: - Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Dave: - Me? Never

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Dave: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive, thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Stuart: - What's that then?

Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Stuart: - Nope

Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker

ONE HO (Axis Review)

I will begin by saying it was a great show, all 4 comedians did a terrific job, i was literally LOL the entire time, and i am not easily impressed with cheap humor.

Ahmad Ahmad: who hosted the show, is a great comedian, and very good with improv, since he hosted the show, he was introducing the comedians so he had his skit slip into parts and he did it between the other comedians time slots.

He was sober, funny, fast, and i loved the cause that he kept mentioning during the show. (if we want to break fee from the stereotypes that we live, we gotta laugh about it)

Won Ho Chung: the new guy that they just recruited from Amman, Jordan, i honestly have nothing to say but WON HO STOLE THE SHOW. The Korean/Vietnamese rookie was the highlight of the show.

I have to agree with that one, he’s a tiny, spiky haired Korean guy who was the only one to perform in Arabic. Perfect, accent-free Jordanian Arabic – it was the strangest thing

Aaron Kader: this guy is without a doubt hilarious, but at a point i felt he overdid it with one skit, i think the whole crowd thought so too, but he still gets 2 thumbs up for being Palestinian/Mormon. Only a Palestinian man can do something this stupid like marry a Mormon woman, and we all know why he did that, US citizenship, lol

He was drunk out of his head, and it was extremely obvious, but he still managed to complete his part without puking all over the audience.

This guy did pretty damn good impressions of bush, dr phil, and the Australian crocodile guy. I really enjoyed his performance despite the fact that he did drag on one of the bits as zed says

Maz Jobrani: if you guys have seen anything for Maj, you would automatically give him much respect for his Iranian style bold humor, he is a genius at what he does.

He was probably on crack, cause even Robbin Williams can't keep up with this PERSIIAAAANNN

Many people say this guy was their favorite, and I can understand why. There’s something super funny about Persian accents, it makes everything sound funnier then it actually is

i can't say much about that show cause then i'll be ruining allot of the jokes, but there is one disappointing thing, for the people the have seen the Axis of Evil DVD, most of the skits have not changed, of course you will find major changes but the main theme that the jokes revolved around are basically the same, i'd go watch it again in a heart beat, and i support their cause till the end.

I had never seen them perform before – not live, not on dvd, and I realllllly enjoyed the show last night . I was laughing out loud consistently and so was the whole crowd ! I would totally go see them again, provided they come with some new material

Blogger = Spy

a couple of weeks ago, zed and i were chitchatting about iKuwait.

after trying to convince one another who we thought was the better blogger (after waldo of course), i was telling him how everything around me has become a potential post or material for iKuwait, and how i sometimes feel like a little spy going around with my camera phone, snapping away.

are bloggers becoming 2nd rate paparazzi? Do u guys feel like u’re constantly working your surroundings for blog material ?

to add a cherry to the cake, i'm not only a spy, but a hazard on the road, often trying to take photos and driving at the same time; and as u've recently might have seen, i'm not a slow driver :/

tickets for sale

so a friend of mine calls me up this morning and has a couple of tickets to sell, anyone interested, he's selling them for 60 Kd each negotiable (email me)

i personally think thats insane, buy the DVD
oopppsss sorry Moe

Update: tickets are going for 40 Kd
2nd update: sold at 40kd each

Let's do coffee

When u run into someone u haven’t seen in a while, they (or you) might throw around the phrase “let’s do coffee next week,” without the slightest intention of doing so.

I’ve always disliked that and thought that it made people sound flaky and insincere…… until recently, when I noticed that I’ve become one of these people !

I guess it’s just a way of parting ways un-awkwardly, cos let’s face it, it’s much easier than saying “ok, bye now” or “take care, until I run into you again.”

What I usually try to do is say “it was good to see you” – but every now and then that old coffee phrase still slips out :o)

just one of THOSE days

i can't stand the beginning of the week, everything is slow, boring, no motivation to do anything.

why can't it just be a Thurdsay everyday.

i hate Sundays

Humping

snapped yesterday in bahrain

inevitably, this song comes to mind...